My first finished book of 2010

Sometimes the Rock Must Crumble by Jess Kuhl was a short but powerful book written by a friend of a friend. I don't personally know the Kuhl family, only through stories our friends, Jim and Lynda Henry, have shared with me. We probably would have met them if we hadn't been in the hospital with Timothy in November, but that's another story....

The story was of one man's journey through the loss of a child and the "gut-wrenching" things he came to face in the process. One of the first questions Jess posed in the introduction was: "How can I balance my need to be "the rock" with my own grief, the intensity of which I could find no adequate way to express?"

Good question. One very practical way that Jess suggested was accountability in a strong men's group. A place to be real, vulnerable and honest is a key in this process.

The providence and sovereignty of God are big concepts. Comforting at times, but downright scary at others. Most people like control and Jess writes, "Above all else, I've come to accept how much in control God is. So many times Christians claim Christ as their Savior but not as their Lord."

He also points out that the greatest insight or gift that his daughter's death has left him with is to try to be a part of people's lives, more fully and more openly than he might otherwise have been.
In closing, Jess points out that "no one said our walk with God would be easy. To be a Christian means accepting that sometimes pain is part and parcel of our journey." When he finds himself slipping back into the "why" of Maura's death, he goes back to the foundation. Back to trust. To the fact (and comfort) that God is control.

He recommends asking yourself the the following questions for whatever hardship you are currently facing:

Are you surrounding yourself with love?
Are you allowing yourself to be loved to even crumble every once in a while?
Do you take time to laugh?
Are you present with your spouse? Your kids? God?
Are you getting what you need out of your church?
Are you putting what you need into your church?
How is your relationship with Christ? Do you have one?
Do you know Jesus can calm your storms?

Thanks Jim and Lynda for recommending this book.